secrets

by Allison Crowe

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    This is secrets - the physical CD. The album of songs comes in a jewel-case with Allison pictured on the front cover and back cover - an image captured just outside her childhood home at Departure Bay, Nanaimo, B.C. Canada.


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about

Allison Crowe recorded this solo, singer-songwriter, album in 2004. First setting up a home studio, Allison engineered and assisted with production (alongside Rainer Willeke of Canadian r'n'b combo, Soul Station). Allison performs all vocals (lead and harmonies), plays piano, guitar, keyboards and added percussive 'thumps' to the collection. secrets contains a mix of tunes from Allison's "band days" (some of which are radically redefined), freshly-penned songs, and a couple of choice picks from other artists: Counting Crows' brooding "Raining in Baltimore" ~ the first song Allison performed when she launched her career as a singer-songwriter; and "Joan of Arc", a shining exemplar of Leonard Cohen's poetic brilliance.

Guest artists contributing to secrets are: Del Crowe (guitar); Jo Lundstrom (accordion); Eric Reiswig (Uilleann pipes); and Rainer Willeke (tambourine).

credits

released 05 May 2004

tags

license

Some rights reserved. Please refer to individual track pages for license info.

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Track Name: How Long
How Long
Words & Music by Allison Crowe

It took me so long to understand
who I needed to be for myself
and it took me too long to realize
that I didn't need anybody else
so now I'm sitting here in silence
and all I can feel is regret
and it seems to be so easy for you now
but its not so easy for me to forget

how long do I have to wait here?
you leave me standing in the cold
how long will it take you to remember
while you're still alive and growing old
I'm the only one who cares about you

so roll me over
shut me out
if that's what you feel possessed to do
whatever helps to get you through the night
yeah it may kill me
but I'll still love you

how long do I have to wait here
you leave me standing in the cold
how long will it take you to remember
while you're still alive and growing old
I'm the only one who cares about you

I am
I am the only one
I am
I am...

how long do I have to wait here
you leave me standing in the cold
how long will it take you to remember
while you're still alive and growing old
I'm the only one, I am the only one
I am

you leave me standing in the cold
how long will it take for you to realize
that I am gone?
Track Name: Raining in Baltimore
Raining In Baltimore

Words & Music by Steve Bowman, David Bryson, Adam Duritz, Charlie Gillingham, Dave Immergluck, Matt Malley
As performed by Allison Crowe

The circus is falling down on its knees
Big top is crumbling down
It's raining in Baltimore fifty miles east
Where you should be, no one's around
I need a phone call
I need a raincoat
I need a big love
I need a rain coat

These train conversations are passing me by
And I don't have nothing to say
You get what you paid for
But I just had no intention of living this way
I need a phone call
I need a plane ride
I need a sunburn
I need a raincoat

And I get no answers
And I don't get no change
It's raining in Baltimore, baby
But everything else is the same

There's things I remember, there’s things I forget
I miss you I guess that I should
Three-thousand five-hundred miles away
And what would you change if you could?

I need a phone call, maybe I should buy a new car
I can always hear a freight train, baby, if I listen real hard
And I wish, I wish it was a small world
’cause I'm lonely for the big towns
I'd like to hear a little guitar
I guess it's time to put the top down
I need a phone call
I need a raincoat
I really need a raincoat
I really, really need a rain coat
I really, really, really need a rain coat
I really need a raincoat
Track Name: Philosophy
Philosophy

Words & Music by Allison Crowe

Rain has always fallen silently in my mind
and its built up so high that I'll drown in my own faults
and when I stop breathing maybe I'll be taken to a place
where I can be of some use
now tell me baby, is this not like me

I can't be here now and I don't want your eyes reaching mine
I don't understand why all you had you had to leave behind

I can't stay here now
and I wish my plans were only residential
so I will tell you now that baby I am not unique

so I will empty my veins so my blood can no longer run cold
and my voice will cease shrieking so you can't disagree

I will try to fly
and if I don't make it at least I'll know that I
didn't have to watch myself fail again
well I have got to go

I can walk into the sea
and open my eyes so I can't see
and I can feel you rush in to me
and I am drowning
and I am free
Track Name: Midnight
Midnight
Words & Music by Allison Crowe

At midnight I open up my door
and I say,
"hey, well why don't you just go and see what happens then?"

and I don't know exactly what it is I'm trying to prove
all I know
is this is just what works for me right now

But then I come back down... maybe in a minute, or two...
and you're already gone.

And I know that I can be cruel
and I don't always have a reason for it
you could ask me over and over again... and all I'd say is
"NOTHING"

but I guess you saw me sitting on the road
in the middle of a rain-storm crying
and I still don't know why
it seemed like a good idea at the time...

In my soul
is water earth and air and fire
all the things that make us whole
and fuel all of your desire

but water can drown
and earth can quake
and fire can burn you out...
and I guess you know that, well...

I know you know that
wind
can blow you away
Track Name: Immersed
Immersed

Words & Music by Allison Crowe

I will fight you
Every step of the way
No matter what you do
Or what I have to say

Kicking and screaming
Just drag me out of here
I will cause you sorrow
And I will not endear

So wait, oh, no, no, no you can't go
I thought you said you'd know
No?
I didn't think so

I am wide-awake
And immersed in confusion
Bare boned and busted up
And lost in disillusion

If I had just one
Little spark inside of me
I wouldn't be so scared
Of the dark side of me

I refuse to
be something that I'm not
Just to be who you are
Just to get what you have got

I won't accept restraint
And I will not hide behind fear
Yeah, I will be afraid
But I'll stand up
I will stay right here

So wait, oh, no, no, no you can't go
I thought you said you'd know
No?
I didn't think so

I am wide-awake
And immersed in confusion
Bare boned and busted up
And lost in disillusion

And if I had just one
Little spark inside of me
I wouldn't be so scared
Of the dark side...
Track Name: Secrets (That Aren't My Own)
Secrets
Words & Music by Allison Crowe

verse 1
you know I hold these in
and I take them for myself
I'm covered in guilt
but it's not my own

there isn't any reason
for me to feel like I'm dying
I'm done with being afraid
I'm done with lying

chorus:
and I am not an angel
I'm more like Mona Lisa
there's something hiding in me
there's always something behind my smile

and I know that I'm not perfect
and maybe I am the court jester
I'm the life of the party
and I know too much about the court...

I have these secrets that aren't my own

verse 2
so take this how you want to
I'm not here to judge you
I just want to be in love with you
I just want to forget myself

i want to just be ignorant
please take this pain away from me
down to the river and out to the sea
down to the river and out to the sea

chorus:
and I am not an angel
I'm more like Mona Lisa
there's something hiding in me
there's always something behind my smile

and I know that I'm not perfect
yeah, I am the court jester
I'm the life of the party
and I know too much about the court...

I have these secrets that aren't my own

verse 3
it's too far to reach.
but I'm too scared to let go.
it's too close to ignore
but I feel so far away now

I'm crawling in the ceiling
I'm scratching through the walls
I'm trying to scream
but my own hand is on my throat

chorus:
And I am not an angel
I'm more like Mona Lisa
there's something hiding in me
there's always something behind my smile

and I want to be like Venus
to just bare it all and face the world
but I'm tangled in these blankets
I'm caught in between the lines

I have these secrets that aren't my own
Track Name: Montreal
Montreal

Words & Music by Allison Crowe

Spent a little time in Montreal
With a fire in the sun
Smokescreen covering
Over the entire city
And you know
I think that I saw you
In a different light

Whether or not
It was the wine
A quiet determination
Maybe something or someone
That you didn't know existed in you
And I think that I loved you
Even more

So come on
Follow me down the alleyway
Upside down sign is hanging upright
In the door
Sitting on the steps in Montreal
I'm waiting for you
To spread your wings

Rage building
Held under by a desire
To understand
And I think I got it
The mystery that
I saw in my dreams
Became you in the flesh
Bones and all

S' come on,
Follow me down the alleyway
Upside down sign is hanging upright
In the door
Sitting on the steps in Montreal
I'm waiting for you
To spread your wings

You just sat there
In the background on the canvas
Watching me
Knowing every little fear
Phobia and twitch
Quietly laughing to yourself
Keeping me inside you
Away from the fear
Surrounding me

Come on,
Follow me down the alleyway
Upside down sign is hanging upright
In the door
Sitting on the steps in Montreal
I'm waiting for you

To spread your wings...
Track Name: Sea of a Million Faces
Sea of A Million Faces

Words & Music by Allison Crowe

I pulled a knife on myself today
I don’t know what I was thinking
All of these words trapped inside my head
I feel like I’ve been drinking
And I know you don’t want to see
Me this way...

In a sea of a million faces
I feel so alone
I only have you
to hold on to
So please don’t go, don’t go.

And so I walk through the moonlit streets
But the light evades me
Lost in the darkness of endless nights
I am cold and I’m afraid
and I wish that I could see...
you this way too...

In a sea of a million faces
I feel so alone
I only have you to hold on to
So please don’t go, don’t go

I would have crawled for ten thousand days
Just to get back to you
With dirty knees and a wind torn face
I don’t know what I’m supposed to do

And I don’t ever want

To see you this way...
Track Name: What About You
What About You

Words & Music by Allison Crowe

So you're weary now
from the company you keep
lay down your head
and go back to sleep
back to sleep

Just wait till the end
it will be worth it I swear
so hold on, my friend
we're almost there

Chorus:

Step back for a moment
and watch what's going on around you
you're so concerned with pleasing everyone
what about you?

I woke up at half past 12
half in and out of dreaming
I could barely hear
but I think that I was screaming

I tried to call out to you
be careful, they're right behind you
but you turned to me and said, I'm dying
and it's too late for anyone to save me

Chorus:

Step back for a moment
and watch what's going on around you
you're so concerned with pleasing everyone
what about you?

repeat

So you're weary now
from the company you keep
lay down your head
and go back to sleep...
Track Name: Joan of Arc
Joan of Arc

Words & Music by Leonard Cohen
As performed by Allison Crowe

Now the flames they followed Joan of Arc
as she came riding through the dark;
no moon to keep her armour bright,
no man to get her through this dark and smoky night.

She said, "I'm tired of the war,
I want the kind of work I had before,
A wedding dress or something white
to wear upon my swollen appetite."

“Well, I'm glad to hear you talk this way,
I've watched you riding every day
and there is something in me that yearns to win
such a cold, such a lonesome heroine”.

"And who are you?" she sternly spoke
to the one beneath the smoke.
"Why, I'm fire," he replied,
"And I love your solitude, I love your pride."

"Well, then, fire make your body cold,
I'm going to give you mine to hold."
And saying this she climbed inside
to be his one, to be his only bride.

Then deep into his fiery heart
he took the dust of Joan of Arc,
and high above all these wedding guests
he hung the ashes of her lovely wedding dress.

It was deep into his fiery heart
he took the dust of Joan of Arc,
and then she clearly understood
if he was fire, oh, she must be wood.

I saw her wince, I saw her cry,
I saw the glory in her eye.
Myself I long for love and light,
but must it come so cruel,

must it be so bright?
Track Name: Whether I'm Wrong
Whether I'm Wrong
Words & Music by Allison Crowe

Don't want to raise my head
The world is covered in rage
Voices calling out in anger
Entering erratically into another age

Shadow puppets on the wall
I don't know who to believe
In the darkness standing tall
With a smile upon your face

And I have a right, to
Have a voice, have a say

Whether I'm wrong, or whether I'm right
It doesn't really matter anymore
You've put up a wall
We've put up a fight
And now it seems we've forgotten
What all that was for

Whether you don't want to
Or whether you can't see
What is right in front of your face
Time is running out
And we're already losing ground
With the human race

I don't want to raise my hand
I don't know why I'm scared to say
Feel like I want to call out
Feel like I want to run away

And I don't know why anyone
Should have to suffer anymore
I don't know a whole lot of anything
But I do wonder what all of this is for

And you have a right, too
To have a voice, have a say

Whether I'm wrong
Or whether I'm right
It doesn't really matter anymore
You've put up a wall
We've put up a fight
And now it seems we've forgotten
What all of that was for

Whether you don't want to
Or whether you can't see
What is right in front of your face
Time is running out
And we're already losing ground
With the human race